Dreams

I have dreams. All kinds of dreams.

Sometimes my dreams are ethereal.  Sometimes they are too real.

Often my dreams are easily forgotten in the light of day.

And then there are dreams from which I don't want to awake.

I also have God-sized dreams, as Holley Gerth calls them.

This was to be my summer of dreams accomplished.  Someone else had other ideas, and those dreams didn't happen.  Someone else is my God.  He has taken me to a place called Patience.  The road hasn't been paved with gold or diamonds.  The surface I've traveled has been filled with potholes and bumps.  I haven't been a happy camper all along this road, battling surgery, pain, other unexpected health issues.

Then last night I was on Facebook for the first time in several days.  I'd been thinking of a young friend in her 30s whom I hadn't heard from in a while.  A couple of years ago she and her husband and now 5-year old daughter moved to The Netherlands to be closer to her husband's parents.  It was for only three years and after the initial shock, my friend accepted it was what God wanted them to do and off they went.  We shed tears of sorrow and joy, and we laughed about memories and times we'd laughed before, and we wished them well.  After all they'd be back in a few years.  We could email, see each other on Facebook, she'd come home for visits.

Finally last night, a post from my friend on Facebook!  No, wait -- it's from her husband.  He's telling us that my friend died suddenly on Sunday.  The tears flowed down my face.  She was just in her 30s, she had a full life ahead, she had this beautiful marriage, and she had this amazingly beautiful little girl to raise.  No details were given.  Just the facts -- she is gone.  I've asked God why her dreams won't come to fruition, and He has told me that He "had other plans."

I think I won't complain any more about the summer I feel I've lost.  I've lost a treasure far more precious than a few weeks or months.  A young, faith-filled spirit who always made me smile is gone.  Her memory will live on forever in my heart and when I think of her, I will think of Patience, a virtue I am learning slowly but can so clearly see now that God has chosen my friend as the next angel in the Heavens.  A perfect angel.

Dreams are to be dreamed. 

If remembered, dreams are beautiful or they can be frightening.

Dreams can't be relied on to come true.

Because often God has other plans.

So Long, Dear Friend

Julia is gone.  Our dear friend lived into her mid 80s, defying diabetes diagnosed at age 18.  Her doctor often told her she should write a book about all the advances she had witnessed in her lifetime with this disease.  Julia laughed and often said that she thought it was too late to start a writing career.

Late yesterday afternoon I found an email from Julia's nephew in my inbox asking me to call right away.  It seems neighbors had noticed a lack of activity -- newspapers not picked up, no sign of Julia walking to her mailbox.  They called the authorities, and a young officer with the sheriff's department who regularly checked on our friend came and entered finding Julia had passed on to meet her Heavenly Father.

At her age and with her physical limitations, this wasn't really surprising.  The part that I struggle with the most is that she died somewhat alone.  Estranged from her only son since her husband died in 2006, Julia had no other family in the area.  However, she had a multitude of caring friends from church and from churches her pastor husband had served.  I will admit though that Julia had a stubborn streak which prevented most of us from giving her much aid and assistance.  She willingly helped others, but she was not going to let it be said that she couldn't take care of herself!

Then I come to the verse of Scripture in Matthew 28:20 that tells me "I am with you always, even to the very end of the age."  So, why do I say she died alone?  Julia was not alone, no more than I am at this very moment sitting at home with my husband in another room.  God was with her in those last few hours and minutes, and as her last breath came, He was there holding her hand.  Of that I am sure.

Never fear, when times seem tough and trouble seems to abound, these words are yours too -- "I am with you always, even to the very end of the age."

Goodbye, dear friend, Julia -- I'll see you again I'm certain.